do you ever bite into a piece of cheese on bread and immediately find yourself as a true and honest shepherd boy in the 1300s who sometimes steals apples but is overall hale and truehearted
Yes.
Category: Uncategorized
🎼🎶
Maximum Fun Dot Org
co̩͍̰͓̦m̬e̵͖̭̫̤̼d̛͎̠̻͕y̖̖ ̵͍̭͇̳̹͖a̷̱n̢d͏̗͙̟̳̻̯ ̧͖̫̩̘ͅc҉͖u̙̫̭̙̩͝l̟ͅt̡͖̠̯̘̰̲̺u͓̬r͍̳͉̮e̖͍
̶̰͚a̹̙̞͙͓͈r̘̲͇̼͚͔ͅt̯͕̫͖̤ͅi̜̱̱s̼͠t͓̭͖̟-͙̖̳̰̬͙ͅo̲̙͉̤̤̗w͎̲̱̟͢n̯̺̗̮ͅe̢̮̠̟d̖̗̳̜̤͝ͅͅ
Listener-Supported
big noses are beautiful and good to kiss
English: It fits like a glove.
Spanish: It fits like a ring on the finger.
Italian: It fits like shoes painted on with a brush.Finnish: It fits like a . FiST. iN. the EYe . (ง’̀-‘́)ง
The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.”
“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”
“A different hipprogriff.”
“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”
“Prove it.”
no dna tests we die like scientifically underdeveloped societies
Prisoner of Azkaban continues to be the most frustrating book
Someone should have just adopted Sirius and started calling him Gerald.
Remus: Erm… this is our new order member, my… cousin Gerald. Gerald White.
“Mr. Lupin that is Sirius Black with glasses!”
“Oh come now Minister, Sirius Black doesn’t wear glasses. That wouldn’t make sense.”
“Well have Mr. White take off his glasses then!”
“He can’t he needs them to see.”it got better
It’s honestly a miracle to me that wizarding society doesn’t collapse every other week because like
You’ve got this world full of people who can destroy whole buildings or turn people into beetles or make vehicles fly just by waving a stick at them
And there is literally no common sense
Anywhere to be found
Voldemort would never have had anyone find out he was back if he just went around calling himself Steve
Okay, see, I thought I saved this post to comment on it but I’d like to bring up
The Minister would NEVER EVER disbelieve in Gerald White. He’d buy it hook line and sinker. The wizarding world would buy it hook line and sinker. The GOBLINS wouldn’t but wizards have been shown to be pretty blindingly clueless. Still, Gringotts would grudgingly give Sirius access to the Black fortune.
But, but, but, you know the one person
the one person
who Gerald White would drive AB-SO-LUTELY FUCKING BATSHIT?
Severus Snape.
Snape would do everything, EVERYTHING, to get people to believe that it’s Sirius. But the Order would ignore it (they accepted Sirius as Sirius before anyway) and Remus would just be so… so affronted.
‘Severus, he is my cousin.’
And Sirius would love it. He’d love the fact that Snape just hated it. He’d be the BEST DAMN GERALD WHITE EVER b/c Snape is doing everything from dropping veritaserum into his firewhisky to capturing a dementor in a box and releasing it on Sirius when he least expects it
That one causes problems for a bare minute because SHIT A DEMENTOR ATTEMPTED TO GIVE GERALD THE KISS MAYBE SNAPE IS RIGHT except Harry comes forward and is like ‘excuse me, I’ve never committed a crime and dementors are ALWAYS attacking me, I think they’re attracted to glasses’
and the magical community is like ‘shit, yeah, you’re right’
and just
Spare. Snape goes spare.
i sincerely just got an e-mail alert from fanfiction.net letting me know that a draco/hermione fic i subscribed to in the tenth fucking grade just updated for the first time in six years and it really feels like my devastatingly uncool fifteen-year-old self just traveled through time to punch me in the face
–Remember when we first met, and you took me racecar driving?
-I remember how terrified you were.
–I was not! Anyway, what I remember most was how relieved I felt.
-Relieved?
–Yeah. My whole life, I was always told I was too wild, too emotional, too intense, but it turned out you could be just as intense as me. I’ve never had anyone in my life who got me the way you do.
Turf Wars, Part 1
What a beautiful color.
Evenly Roasted
Gaten Matarazzo, Millie Bobby Brown and Caleb McLaughlin photographed by Dário Vazquez for EL PAÍS
My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.
“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:
“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.
“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.
“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.
“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”
“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.
Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents
Solutions Without Problems 