Asks that need to be held onto for a possible future post
Asks that can’t, due to content/anonymity/a promise made to a wizard
Now, there’s a fourth category:
Asks so inexplicable they must be preserved like an endangered species
I imagine this will spawn a round of intentionally-random asks, but the beauty of those earlier ones? They were totally unprompted. 100% organic, free-range, pasture-fed unexplainable decisions, and I adore every one.
i hate when people in movies/tv are reading ancient languages and they translate everything really smoothly and poetically, as if when people who study ancient languages aren’t consulting three different commentaries and sobbing profusely when we read
ok so like…. it says
“come you all into the deepest cavern, or maybe that’s fireplace, depends on usage, and having come may you give your…. treasures? Skin? Pants? I don’t know, something…. to the….. about-to-be-adored guy, that one who…. okay, he either causes earthquakes or sleeps a lot, I think this might be an idiom….”
“ok, sorry that took so long and i hate to disappoint but i’m still not entirely sure what it means, like, it could be something about a religious ceremony or it could be a dick joke. leaning towards dick joke, might be both. knowing the ancients, probably both. this could very well be an ancient dick temple and we should probably leave.”
Funnest part is when you get shit like this:
Why yes that is a text comprised of almost exclusively crocodile hieroglyphs.
We also can’t get a coherent translation because the grammar makes absolutely no sense. Participles and Participial statements all the way. Sobek who is Crocodile of Crocodopolis who advances the Crocodile for the Crocodiles….
The crocodile hieroglyph is also used to write sovereign and an adjective meaning power…so the text is suuuuuuuper confusing.
As someone who knows nothing of hieroglyphics, I would assume this meant “There’s a lot of crocodiles here, you should probably leave.”
Buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo, ancient Egyptian style.
the boys’ reactions when told to make a joke about millennials
justin: adds a funny specific to a pretty standard stereotype to create a bizarre & delightful mental image of ferrets running wild on an airplane
griffin: just… just, righteous fury. this is his crusade and he cannot believe that it has found him again, on television of all places. he will never know peace until the very concept of thinkpieces has been erased from living memory
please please PLEASE watch Danger & Eggs it is the purest time
It’s so good
But the way, the creator & showrunner of Danger & Eggs is a trans woman (Shadi Petosky), and the episode this clip is from was written by Laura Zak (Her Story). The show has cameos by Angelica Ross (as the Mayor!), Stephanie Beatriz, Jasika Nicole, Cameron Esposito & Rhea Butcher, Tyler Ford (as a nonbinary character who gender neutral pronouns are respected), and Jazz Jennings as a trans girl. I even make a cameo as part of a couple with Gaby Dunn (pic below). At Pride! Which, by the way, is the first time a kids show has ever had a Pride episode.
tl/dr Danger & Eggs is damn funny, but it’s also hella queer & feminist.
Ron: Hey Harry?
Harry: What
Ron: Do you think Voldemort was a virgin?
Harry: Seriously Ron-
Ron: I was just wondering-
Harry: *sighs* *pauses* In the Chamber of Secrets, the memory had him in 5th year…
yeah, he wasn’t a virgin
Seamus: Imagine being the lass to do the frick-frack with ol’ Dark Lord Voldy
Dean: The Gryffindor boy’s dorm; the place where we can talk about sex with the Dark Lord but not say the word sex.
Seamus: *throws pillow at Dean*
Neville: *after pause* Doing the Do with You Know Who.
Ron: He Who Must Not Be Laid
I love the phrase “what the entire fuck” because it implies that there exists some scenario that warrants only a “what the partial fuck”.
Well, since there are clearly scenarios which warrant giving zero fucks, it
seems plausible to infer that there exists a 0 … 1 scale of fuckitude, containing a potentially infinite number of fractional fuckery scenarios.
Fractional Fuckery Scenarios is going to be my first short story collection.
straight men repress their feelings so severely with their friends and family, and then they come across a girl (whos been socialized to be Empathetic and Nurturing) and they find that they can tell this girl about their Feelings ! everythings great she’s The One ! in reality they just have a normal human bond but actually connecting with anyone is so foreign to men and their emotionally barren male relationships that it seems like something great and wonderful. so now girl is put on a pedestal that she’ll eventually fall from bc she’s human and not just a Male Feelings Receptacle and everyone loses all bc fathers refuse to cry in front of their sons
[Brooke Winters tweeted: “As a disabled person I don’t want to be told I can do anything if I put my mind to it. I want to know that what I can do is good enough.”]
Solutions Without Problems 