I think everyone should get one Change Your Name For Free card. you can’t use it before you turn 16 (we’d be inundated with Batmans and Optimus Primes) but once you do, when and how you use it is completely free game.
trans? go for it
cis, but hate your birth name? me too bitch, have at
pissed off some shady people and need a new cover? go ham my man
accidentally told your name to a fae and need a new one, like, now??? there’s a self-service name change kiosk at your local town square
wanna change your name to Big Crinchy for the fuck of it??? it’s free and easy. live your best goddamn life
so on 4chan the word “wapanese” was used to refer to dumb anime nerds. white boy wannabe japanese. makes sense.
A mod got pissed at it being used so much and said that the next person to use it would get banned, so the boards decided to use a silly nonsense word to replace it.
by complete general consensus, the boards picked the word “weeaboo” from a perry bible comic.
henceforth, “weeaboo” was used in replacement of “wapanese”.
the end.
I have learned so much
this should be taught in history class
An object lesson in how attempting to censor words always fails.
i want to know more about charlie weasley’s friends. who the hell agrees to SMUGGLE A DRAGON across international borders on two days notice? who are these people that are willing to accept a dragon in a crate from a couple of small children, no questions asked? i need to know more, tell me about the antics of these mysterious flying dragon smugglers.
ESPCAD.
European Society for the Prevention of Cruelty Against Dragons.
Like PETA but with less grossness and more punk activism. And fire breathing dragons so like no one really fux with ‘em.
speaking as a biologist, i can guarantee i would show up without question to smuggle an endangered species that would otherwise be destroyed across national borders to a sanctuary on two days’ notice.
like. if a small child showed me a box containing a juvenile alligator snapping turtle and was like “you need to smuggle this across the continent to kansas or else it will be destroyed” i would be like “sure, would you like me to send you a postcard, small child”
I cannot help but feel that if Albus Dumbledore had known about this freelance dragon-smuggling association things might have gone very differently for Harry Potter.
“I want you to basically move this child across national borders to somewhere where they’ve never even heard of Lord Voldemort and keep him until I need him.”
“No. That’s kidnapping.”
“He’s an unwanted orphan who’ll be hunted mercilessly by Voldemort’s associates and to make it worth your while I’ll give you these very rare eggs I happen to have come across in my –
“HOW THE HELL DID THOSE GET OUT OF NORWAY okay fine. Gimme. I’ll send a card.”
The smugglers take the eggs and the kid, dropping off the kid with someone’s sister who’s already got a couple and seems to know how to manage them. They check in, though, and it turns out the kid is mega into reptiles. Can even talk to them, which makes him *very* helpful…
Ten years later everyone but Albus Dumbledore is a little puzzled as to why a kid allegedly named ‘Nils Johansson’ has come all the way from Sweden to go to Hogwarts. Nils wears glasses, has a collection of interesting scars including one on his forehead, has two pet snakes that are almost always on his person, knows everything there is to know about dragons and introduces himself to Ron on the train with “You must be Ron, your brother Charlie told me to look you up. He works with my uncle William, visits a lot.”
Hagrid recognizes him instantly, of course, but it’s when he finds out how much Nils knows about dragons that his heart is won forever.
I don’t think there’s an applause gif big enough to properly convey my reaction to this.
Also, I love that if anyone tries to say that you’re just “another hack fic writer with no ideas of her own who is jealous of the “real” writers out there”, they could quite literally be crushed under your catalog of award-winning original writing as a response. They can’t dismiss your stance on this topic the way they do to so many unpublished / fanfic writers because you’ve already met all of the standards that they insist someone has before they’ll accept their opinion as worth listening to.
Right?
“Well, fanfic authors never win awards, so–” “WOULD YOU LIKE TO HOLD MY HUGO.” “That’s basically, it’s, you know, the People’s Choice, so–” “LOOK AT MY NEBULA.” “That’s a science fiction award, it doesn’t really–” “LOOK I’VE WON THE ALEX.” “…” “IT’S GIVEN BY THE SAME PEOPLE WHO GIVE THE NEWBURY.” “…” “I’M THE FIRST PERSON TO WIN IT TWICE IN A ROW.” “…well you wrote porn.” “GOSH I SURE DID.”
More attention to this, please. 🙂 From yet another of the I Wrote Fanfic First And I Decline To Feel Shame About It brigade.
(And I also wrote for My Little Pony, which means I may have inadvertently contributed something to Seanan’s state of being. [Which I will file under the “Quiet Unholy Glee” heading.])
Solutions Without Problems 