the older i get the weirder it is that not a single p.e. teacher in my entire school career was able to recognize the difference between “a child who doesn’t get enough exercise” and “a child with serious health problems impeding their ability to exercise in this particular way”
you know what else is weird? we had to do that fitness test every year but like… we never actually… learned how to do the things they tested us on…
like, now that i am an adult i have learned how to build up my strength so i can do pushups, but that seems like something they could have taught us? in school? in the class where they tested our ability to pushups? they never taught us how to work our way up to actually doing a chin-up, or whatever. even if i had just been “out-of-shape” (as a CHILD), nothing they did would have solved that problem. i did not learn how to exercise in a functional way until i was out of school and teaching myself, so i’m not sure what those p.e. classes were even intended to accomplish, really.
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In LOTR the word ‘man’ is only used for human men so now I’m imagining like
Someone: are you a man or a woman?
Pippin: I’m a hobbit
Someone: but what’s in your trousers
Pippin: mostly snacks
in case anyone thought i was joking:
‘Man!’ cried Pippin, now thoroughly roused. ‘Man! Indeed not! I am a hobbit and no more valiant than I am a man, save perhaps now and again by necessity. Do not let Gandalf deceive you!’
my favorite running gag in the adventure zone is that taako adheres to this rule and so repeatedly objects to being called a man, but no one else in the entire podcast has this hangup
Me and my friends when we’re out
This speaks to me on a deep and profound level
Me: -stares into the void-
The Void: write the next fucking chapter of your fanfic.
hey fellas last night i took a medication which is more or less the anxiety equivalent of a horse tranquilizer & essentially enterred the fifth dimension of sleepwalking in which i awoke but enterred a dissociative fit so strong i was really confused why my loving girlfriend was not my good friend and fellow viking bjorn, who i had to bring some furs to. also i might’ve cried about this. don’t remember
was informed i left out the best part of this 3am experience which was the bit where i, in tears, gestured to our dog and shouted, “i don’t know what this is!”
bruh you astral planed so hard you fell back into a past life
If you don’t have anywhere to wear a very specific piece you have in your wardrobe, grab a friend or three and host a “soirée.” Get some $5 sparkling wine or grape juice, some cheese or cocktail onions or grapes if you don’t eat cheese and make a Playlist and just walk around one of your homes being fancy together. It’s nice to go out but if you can’t, don’t let that stop you.
i just got soirée and séance confused and the last two minutes were a bit distressing
Honestly? Invite your ghost friends too. They probably have hella looks to serve.
Solutions Without Problems 