digoxin-purpurea:

apply for jobs you’re not qualified for! audit upper-level classes! get drunk with your TAs! see that poster advertising that lecture series? go there take notes and ask questions! thank the presenter for talking about this topic you love! if the class is full before you register, email the professor and ask if they can squeeze you in! RAISE YOUR HAND! tell the disability accomodation office to do their goddamn job! ask for help! file complaints! go to class in your pajamas and destroy the reading! you got this! you KNOW you got this! be arrogant enough to learn EVERYTHING! take your meds! punch a velociraptor in the dick! fear is useless and temporary! glory is forever! shed your skin and erupt angel wings! help out! spread your sun!

i had a really good morning! you deserve a really good morning! kill anyone who says you don’t and build a throne from their bones!

college gothic

indigo-night-wisp:

  • someone in your class mentions communism. they speak about it at length. you are in biology class.
  • you text your mother. she does not respond for 3 days. you text her again and then realize that it has only been 2 hours since your first text.
  • freshmen travel in packs. what are they afraid of.
  • your class is in room 153. the numbers start at 201. you cannot find the first floor.
  • someone is talking about communism. it is not the same person as last time. this is an english class.
  • your transcript says you have an A in philosophy 3310. you do not remember taking this class. what did you learn? what did you do?
  • you meet your elevator buddy. you do not speak. you never do. you ride in silence. one day, they are not there. you miss them.
  • your advisor refers you to the registrar. the registrar refers you to admissions. admissions refers you to both the registrar and your advisor. you have spoken to two people who do not exist and one who has been dead for ten years.
  • the boy who sits next to you wears the same clothes everyday. you think this is strange but when you mention it, he tells you that this is the first time he has worn this outfit. you realize that you have lived this day before.
  • you pass someone sleeping in the quad. he has always been there. stop looking at him.
  • someone answers, “communism.” it is not someone who has been previously mentioned. the question was, “what is an example of the art of ancient greece?”
  • you have a doppelganger on campus. you have never met them. they know all of your friends.
  • the seniors speak only to professors. their eyes are dead. they have given up the safety of the pack long ago.
  • the professor is talking about STD’s. your math class is very strange.
  • the powerpoint is in comic sans. you suspect that your economics professor is an extraterrestrial being after all.
  • “communism,” the man serving you lunch insists. wearily you nod. that’s what everyone says.

inkskinned:

it won’t be like what you imagined. maybe you get the road trip to the beach with coffee in your hand and the radio playing, maybe you don’t. but happy shows up. it’s in a 2 AM game of jenga with your new college friends. it’s curling up for another marathon of netflix. it’s meeting the person who will be your best man at the wedding. it’s 4:45pm in the library when the girl in the study coral across from you quietly whispers “i’m going to set everything on fire” and then turns to you and asks if you wanna take a break for dinner (say yes, she’s very nice and you both need a moment away from the stress). it’s the mornings they have omelettes and in good books and in a puddle that looks cool. it’s sometimes picturesque, but more often it’s full-belly laughter at stupid things on the floor of your friend’s house while in the background someone is debating the best way to win settlers of catan. 

i know it gets dark early now and the tired is setting in and everything sort of feels blank and hazy and you want to spend ages staring at walls thinking of nothing

but happiness will find a way in. it will be small moments. look for them.