Tag: harry potter

bipirate:

not to be harry potter on main but i honestly think the fantastic beasts series would have been so much more interesting if it was just about the beasts. i don’t give a fuck about grindelwald, just give me a movie about an eccentric wizard travelling the world looking for magical animals and teaching us the power of friendship

elidyce:

blueelectricangels:

disease-danger-darkness-silence:

lesbiancyborg:

i want to know more about charlie weasley’s friends. who the hell agrees to SMUGGLE A DRAGON across international borders on two days notice? who are these people that are willing to accept a dragon in a crate from a couple of small children, no questions asked? i need to know more, tell me about the antics of these mysterious flying dragon smugglers.

ESPCAD.

European Society for the Prevention of Cruelty Against Dragons.

Like PETA but with less grossness and more punk activism. And fire breathing dragons so like no one really fux with ‘em.

speaking as a biologist, i can guarantee i would show up without question to smuggle an endangered species that would otherwise be destroyed across national borders to a sanctuary on two days’ notice.

like. if a small child showed me a box containing a juvenile alligator snapping turtle and was like “you need to smuggle this across the continent to kansas or else it will be destroyed” i would be like “sure, would you like me to send you a postcard, small child”

I cannot help but feel that if Albus Dumbledore had known about this freelance dragon-smuggling association things might have gone very differently for Harry Potter.

“I want you to basically move this child across national borders to somewhere where they’ve never even heard of Lord Voldemort and keep him until I need him.”

“No. That’s kidnapping.”

“He’s an unwanted orphan who’ll be hunted mercilessly by Voldemort’s associates and to make it worth your while I’ll give you these very rare eggs I happen to have come across in my –

“HOW THE HELL DID THOSE GET OUT OF NORWAY okay fine. Gimme. I’ll send a card.”

The smugglers take the eggs and the kid, dropping off the kid with someone’s sister who’s already got a couple and seems to know how to manage them. They check in, though, and it turns out the kid is mega into reptiles. Can even talk to them, which makes him *very* helpful…

Ten years later everyone but Albus Dumbledore is a little puzzled as to why a kid allegedly named ‘Nils Johansson’ has come all the way from Sweden to go to Hogwarts. Nils wears glasses, has a collection of interesting scars including one on his forehead, has two pet snakes that are almost always on his person, knows everything there is to know about dragons and introduces himself to Ron on the train with “You must be Ron, your brother Charlie told me to look you up. He works with my uncle William, visits a lot.”

Hagrid recognizes him instantly, of course, but it’s when he finds out how much Nils knows about dragons that his heart is won forever.

fayemorgana:

teacupsandcyanide:

do you think after Ron and Hermione got out of the trapdoor and raised the alarm and were being patched up in the hospital wing

do you think they were given the most royal proud mama smackdown by McGonagall like “ how DARE you infiltrate a death maze you are ELEVEN and miss granger how on earth did you solve my chessboard i”

and hermione interjected like “oh professor it wasn’t me. i’m useless at chess. it was ron.”

and McGonagall turned to look at Ron Weasley in total amazement at this 11 yr old kid who had been pretty ordinary in all her classes but had apparently beaten her in death chess and he just shrugged like “rookie mistakes, professor. you made some rookie mistakes.”


#AND THIS WAS THE DAY MCGONAGALL LEARNED NOT TO UNDERESTIMATE RON WEASLEY#AND HE NEVER GOT A BREAK FROM HER EVER AGAIN#‘you beat me in death chess i’m sure you can handle transfiguring an owl into a spoon mr weasley’#ron weasley#‘damnit i should have just let myself be killed in there she’s making me LEARN THINGS’ (via alchemistc)

imaginatrix142:

bunjywunjy:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

tygermama:

marauders70s:

porcupine-girl:

thebibliosphere:

I took my meds too close to bedtime again and I need you all to know the dream I had last night involved Robin Williams becoming the new Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts. Not, a character portrayed by Robin Williams, just Robin Williams as himself running around Hogwarts doing wandless magic and being as loud and big as possible because and I quote before I forget:

“Listen, children, I’m not saying all this bad shit that is happening isn’t scary and you shouldn’t be concerned–because you should!–but I’m telling you this now for free. Life is a boggart, it’s the biggest boggart of them all. You never know what it’s going to look like one moment to the next. And sometimes you just gotta laugh. It’s okay to laugh. It’s part of the grieving process. You need to grieve before you can heal. But it’s okay to laugh while you’re doing it.”

I didn’t wake up right after that, some more stuff happened in a hazy sort of way as the dream began to dissolve into conciousness, but I remember him yelling Expecto Patronum as he punched a Death Eater in the face. Because sometimes, evidently, you have to make your own happy memories.

I think Robin Williams literally visited you in your sleep from the beyond in order to pass this message on to the world.

I teared up reading this so I feel like that’s 100% exactly what happened.

Oh Captain, My Captain!

*salutes The Captain and The Pan*

I think we could all use this right around now

I read “Death Eater” as “Dementor”, and the mental image of Robin Williams one-shoting a physical manifestation of despair is the most uplifting thing I have ever imagined.

biniiiiiiii:

A list of reasons I’m divorcing J.K. Rowling and no longer acknowledging anything Past Deathly Hallows

  • None of it makes sense or really adds anything to the story except ‘ooh! A twist!’
  • She took the The Boy Who Lived To Idolize His Parents, and made him into a terrible father, who told his son he wishes he wasn’t born.
  • Made lycanthropy an allegory for HIV/AIDS, AFTER Lupin was turned as a child, by an adult. Not only does this tick the box for pedophilia, but painting homosexuals as predatory by nature.
  • Delphi. Everything about her. Including that she exists.
  • During the actual series, wandless magic was incredibly difficult to do, and only harnessed by very dedicated, powerful witches and wizards. Then, when writing about it in reference to Native American witches and wizards, suddenly, they needed Europeans to come along and teach them how to use wands.
  • Dumbledore being gay, whilst having none of his romantic relationships touched on in the series, even when his adolescence is delved into.
  • Taking from other cultures (Indian and Native American, for example) to add things to the series, with no credit due to those cultures, and no mention of even a character from those cultures.
  • Nagini somehow being a human originally, when it was previously never even alluded to, despite J.K. apparently ‘sitting on this for the last 20 years’.
  • Nagini, the literal PET of a white supremacist, was a woman of color.

None of these things she attempts to shoehorn in feel even remotely natural to the story, and it’s painfully fucking obvious they’re last-minute ‘gotcha!’ twists ripped off ff.net or ao3. She’s destroying the series by trying to keep it relevant, when it could maintain relevancy all on it’s own by being passed down through families and the fandom all on it’s own.