what’s a king to another, gayer king.
A boyfriend?
Tag: lotr
concept: boromir/aragorn where boromir is steward of gondor because denthor died years ago in a tragic hair oil accident or whatever
honestly without his father’s toxic influence, boromir would’ve had less insecurity about “proving” himself for gondor and might have even felt less pressure to seize the ring
which means instead of angry “gondor needs no king” boromir, we’d get a well-adjusted but highly overworked boromir who’s like, “oh no…. a mysterious, sexy ranger who can help me fill out all this administrative paperwork… whatever shall i do….”
#plot twist neither of them like doing paperwork so faramir has to do it all
the greatest thing about this post is that “tragic hair oil accident” is already ridiculous by itself, but not half as dumb as finduilas’ cause of death, which is essentially “not having seen the sea in a long time”
To be fair that’s gonna be my cause of death
Consider: Hobbits unused to carrying swords, initially VERY unclear on when it’s appropriate to whip em out
Merry and Pippin have a disagreement over, idk, whether cake or pie is better and both draw their swords like ‘HAVE AT THEE’
meanwhile Aragorn in the background like, boys please, please boys those are sharp
Frodo: *napping*
Boromir: hey Frodo wake up we need to talk-
Sam: he’s having his nap sir
Boromir: Sam please this is important
Sam: *draws his fucking sword* HE’S HAVIN HIS NAP GO AWAY
Frodo is slightly more sensible & very polite
Frodo: *sees Aragorn with his sword drawn* oh is there trouble. should i get out my sword
Aragorn: …no that’s alright
Frodo: are you sure it’s no trouble
Aragorn: Frodo if i want you to draw your sword I’ll. I’ll say so alright
Frodo: ah, alright 🙂 just say the word
Boromir: *grabs Sam’s sword* ok I’m confiscating this till you learn how to use it appropriately
Sam: *does not let go*
Boromir: *pulls harder*
Sam: *still does not let go*
Boromir: *slowly dragging Sam across the ground* HOW ARE YOU SO STRONG
Frodo: *waking up* WHAT… is going on
Boromir: *holding sword like 6 feet up in the air w Sam dangling off it* um
Sam: I’m handling it Mr Frodo go back to sleep
If you find yourself in times of trouble, ask yourself, ‘what would Gandalf do’, and remember, ‘beat a man unconscious with a big stick’ is a valid answer
When I find myself in times of trouble,
Gandalf Greyhame comes to me,
Wailing on those assholes,
With a tree (with a tree)
i had to draw this good good post by @penny-anna
I LOVE IT & I’m so glad you drew Pippin having a good time bcos that was my intention
a little birthday gift to our fandom gift, @tosquinha ♥
I hope you’re having an amazing day, full of great food and the best company around you!!! because you deserve it!!!
I’m just behind Pip trust me I’m in there
One of my fav things about Gandalf is, he can & canonically does Full Name hobbits when he’s angry like he’s their mum or something
important follow up Qs:
1) does it frustrate Gandalf that he can’t do this to Bilbo & Frodo with the same impact bcos they don’t have nicknames
2) does he do it to non hobbits
Gandalf, in the distance: ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN
Aragorn: oh shit I’m in trouble
I think when Gandalf is pissed with Hobbits he reverts to the extremely formal Mister Baggins!
you’ve cracked it, that’s absolutely what he does
you know how mad he is based on how far back into your lineage he goes, consider:
Mild: Meriadoc Brandybuck! (last name only, you’ll probably live)
Mad: ARAGORN SON OF ARATHORN! (now your ancestors are involved, bad)
Murderous: THORIN, SON OF THRÁIN, SON OF THRÓR! (you are maybe about to meet your ancestors, via Gandalf… and not glorious battle)
Can tell Merry & Pippin apart, of course they can, what kind of question is that: Frodo, Sam
Could not initially tell Merry & Pippin apart but made an effort to learn their names & can now tell them apart: Aragorn, Boromir
Try as he might cannot consistently tell Merry & Pippin apart: Gimli
Can absolutely tell Merry & Pippin apart but pretends not to be able to: Gandalf
Cannot tell Merry & Pippin apart and not even trying: Legolas
where do merry and pippin fall on this spectrum
What do you mean you can’t tell us apart, I’m much taller??: Merry
“I’m Merry”: Pippin
Solutions Without Problems 